Let Me Hurt You Just One More Time
by thequietfangirl95
Summary: After taking Misaki's virginity Saru regrets it and disappears without a word, seeming to abandon everything. Will Misaki find him again, what could he be up to?
1. Chapter 1

"Mi-sa-ki..." Saru breathed into his ear. Their limbs were tangled together,Misaki couldn't push him off.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME YOU DIRTY BASTARD" he was breathing hard.

He felt a cold hand snake under his shirt, but he was completely entwined in that shitty monkey's arms.

There was no escape.

He opened his mouth to shout again but suddenly they were being sealed by Saru's lips.

That was new.

The screams were being sucked out of him, though his mouth was locked tightly together with Saru's, that guys lips were still so soft.

What was he doing? Was this a new kind of torture? Damn it! whatever it was it was working. It shouldn't feel this good, this was Saru damn it, his ex best friend, his betrayer, his enemy. And he was a guy.

The kiss got more brutal, Saru nipped at his lower lip, his tongue invading the rest of his mouth. That drove them both further back against the alley wall. Misaki could feel the imprint of the bricks pressing into the small of his back.

It was a possessive kiss, and it was destroying Saru from the inside. Misaki... Misaki... Misaki... chanted in a loop in his mind. He hadn't meant to take it this far but he knew there was no going back from this. Misaki would hate him even more now, he'd probably never see him again. But that was better than being ignored for that dick of a red king.

He broke the kiss, both panting heavily still close enough to feel each other's hot breath on their faces. "ha...ha... what was that.." Misaki was too weak from the kiss to fight from Saru's grip, he'd forgotten to in the heated confusion.

Misaki watched breathless as Saru slowly broke into a manic grin. "Well looks like you enjoyed that Mi-sa-ki-.." Saru palmed Misaki's swollen bulge, gently cradling the pulsing package.

Before Misaki could protest Saru plunged into his pants. Misaki gasped as a sudden jolt of pleasure surged at that first touch on his sensitive, exposed skin.

"Oh God..." as that first stroke drew a lengthy moan from his lips. He could feel Saru smile against his skin as he pressed his lips almost reverently along his shaft.

"Aaahhnn.. Sa..ru.." Misaki's fingers unconsciously grasped at Saru's hair as Saru took him in deeper. Saru swirled his tongue on the head and proceeded to lick and suck the length of it with great enjoyment at how responsive his Misaki was.

Misaki was losing his sense of reason, focusing on the intense concentration Saru gave to him. It wasn't rough at all, it was as if he was being worshipped. God the feeling of being in Saru's mouth, the warmth and wetness as he felt Saru's throat muscles contracting against him, his moist lips and tongue working at a constant rhythm while the use of that tongue kept him on the edge of his nerves.

"Ah Saru...p..please...I..AH" He was getting too close now, he couldn't control his sporadic movements, he bucked his hips as Saru's other hand began to stroke his balls in time with each stroke of his pulsating dick, pushing himself deeper into Saru's throat.

Saru lifted his eyes from his work, there was nothing better than that look of utter pleasure on Misaki's face, that face he'd tried to see in all his daydreams through middle school. It was so much better than he'd ever imagined. Misaki looked so vulnerable, his eyelashes fluttering over his glazed eyes, dilated pupils and flushed face, the incredibly dirty sounds echoing from his soft lips. And he had been the one to cause it.

Misaki's mind went blank like a burst of bright light swept over him. He came shaking violently crying out Saru's name. Saru took much of the creamy load down his throat but milked the last of it into his hand.

He wasn't done just yet.

Misaki fell, boneless into Saru's waiting embrace, his sensible mind had melted into slush after all that.

At this chance Saru quickly shucked off the rest of Misaki's soiled pants, sweeping them to the side of the silent alley, his heart hammering in his chest. Misaki was so pliable in this form. Saru flipped him on his front and began to prepare Misaki for the rest of his plans.

Using Misaki's own cum to ease the passage of the first finger, getting knuckle deep. As expected of that virgin, he was so tight he needed more of Misaki's lube to open the way for the next. He could feel the internal muscles throbbing against his fingers.

Misaki was shocked out of his post coital haze at the intrusion

He was hard again almost immediately after the fourth finger entered his depths.

"Gah... Sa..ru...you-"

It felt so strange, the feel of Saru inside him, the initial pain plateaued into the need for more of Saru.

Saru straightened up, kissing his way up the ridges of Misaki's spine as he began to unzip himself. God he was so hard he thought it would turn blue. He began to press himself against Misaki's entrance, already wet with pre cum leaking from the tip. "Ah- Saru... need more..." Misaki tried to wriggle in his grip. He couldn't rush this, he didn't want to break him. This would be the final time, he wanted it to last.

He guided Misaki onto him. He could feel all that was Misaki wrapping him into it all, the tight muscles squeezing him, hot and wet, indescribable. He could feel Misaki adjusting to the new intrusion as he slowly moved deeper. He began thrusting, slowly at first but gradually picking up speed as Misaki began to moan loudly at each thrust.

And in this moment Misaki was his, and only his, just the two of them again like it used to be. He was being enveloped by all that was Misaki, and that was all he wanted right now.

He angled himself to hit the prostate, sending ripples of pleasure through Misaki like an electric shock.

Misaki's mind was so disoriented he wasn't sure how he'd ended up like this, or why Saru was doing this. Only that he didn't want this to end, he'd probably cum just from the feeling of Saru inside him alone.

And in that moment they were one, and Saru came inside him panting out Misaki's name over and over like a prayer.

The sensation of Saru's hot cum shooting inside him sent him over the edge, and he came in a gush once again.

They both collapsed against the wall of the deserted alley thouroughly spent. They lay there for a few minutes in each others arms, there was no hate, no anger just pure bliss.

* * *

Saru came out of the haze first.

The first thing he saw, Misaki lying against the wall of a dirty alley, clothes ripped and soiled in dried sticky cum, completely wrecked.

His eyes were still glazed over. He had blacked out.

The realization of what he had down crashed over in a wave on Saruhiko. He had made him his and only his...

But at what cost?

* * *

Misaki woke up in his bed sore all over but with a feeling of release in his heart.

What the hell had happened?

He had blacked out for some reason, and Saru had been there and...

Oh shit...

What the fuck...

A movement in the corner shocked him out of his thoughts.

Saru was standing in the shadows.

How did he get in? Well never mind he needed answers now!

"SARU WHAT THE-"

In one motion Saru's lips were on his.

It was different from the first kiss.

In this one Saru poured all that he was into it

In it he put all those things he wanted to say but could never do.

It spoke of love, betrayal, jealousy,guilt, all the unspoken words between them, all that had passed; and all that might have been.

All purged into that kiss.

Misaki leant into it, the overwhelming meaning of it all.

But Saru pushed him away. Misaki looked into those deep blue eyes, and for once in a long, long time he saw his Saru again, drowned in the depths.

All that longing he felt from that kiss choked him up, after all this time he just wanted Saru back, like old times, together.

Saru moved away, Misaki tried to grab at him, but he yanked his arm away.

"Saru... you.. OI WAIT!.."

Saru paused and pulled him back in for a lingering kiss, it was so soft it felt too much like a goodbye.

"I'm sorry" he whispered against his lips.

"Saru you-"

"I'm sorry" Misaki could feel Saru shaking a little as he said that.

Saru stood up as quietly as he could and walked towards the door. Misaki needed more explanations but he was too sore to even move.

"Misaki.." Saru said softly, his hand gripping the side of the door.

"What... you better tell me what just happened!"

"Goodbye" was all he said.

It was odd...but that goodbye had a sound of finality to it

"Wait you... what do you mean goodbye?!"

But it was too late he was gone.

* * *

_Author notes: ok this was a quick smutty fic I wrote in a facebook chat for my friend icecreambender (who is a MASSIVE Sarumi fan) to distract her from her very boring lecture. This is the first nsfw fic I've ever written and the first fic I've ever uploaded, she made me do it. _

_Sorry if the characterisation is a bit off, she only recently got me to watch K-Project. Also let me know if I should continue, I'm tempted to leave it as it is but my friend said she'd come after me if there was no happy ending._

_Thanks for reading =) feel free to review if you want to, I have soo much to improve on._


	2. Chapter 2

It took him a few hours to recover enough to actually get up. He limped slightly to accommodate the dull ache in his backside. Damn it, he hadn't slept a wink. How could he, that guy was making him worry again after leaving like that. He wasn't answering his phone, that little shit had better take responsibility and explain; because he was literally being a pain in the ass.

Jeez, he had to go search for that monkey himself. He would probably be at work at this time, government dog and all. Pulling some clothes on Misaki made his way to Scepter 4 headquarters, attempting to disguise his awkaward gait with a straight face. Flashes of yesterday replayed in his mind unbidden sending an involuntary blush to his cheeks, had that really happened or had it just been a crazy dream? He wasn't so sure, but the soreness spoke for itself.

He barged in without a care, it wasn't the first time he'd been here; but even now the blue surroundings felt cold and harsh compared to the warm tones of the Homra headquarters. He always felt completely out of place here.

As always the 'Ice woman" as Kusanagi called her was there to greet him.

"And what business does the vanguard of Homra have here?" her hand was already on the handle of her sabre, huh cautious as always.

"I need to see Fushimi NOW, he has some stuff to explain to me."

"Sigh if you're going to fight could you please organise it outside work hours, we are too busy to account for your petty squabbles today." Awashima was looking more tired than normal, it seemed that no amount of anko could lift her mood right now.

"Look I just need to talk to him, no fights ok..."

Awashima looked him up and down, noting the odd position he was standing in, she smirked a little.

Shit don't tell me she can read minds too. He could already feel the blood rushing again to his cheeks.

"As much as I'd like to help you Yata san, Fushimi never came in today."

What...no way...he'd never known Saru to skip work often, something must have happened.

"Though he may have been in the building, he left a note on the King's desk," Awashima gave another long suffering sigh "how he got past security I don't know but he said he was going to use his share of sick leave for some personal business, asked us not to come looking for him."

Ok something was definitely wrong here. The way he had said goodbye already sent alarm bells off in his mind, but this was going to be big if he had just up and left like this. He turned and ran out of the building, ignoring any sensation he pelted towards Saru's flat like a madman.

* * *

He leaned against the door, panting hard from the continuous run there.

"OOOIIII OPEN THE DOOR SHITTY MONKEY! WE NEED TO TALK!"

Misaki knocked loudly on the door, there was nothing but silence on the other end. Well this was a problem, he obviously didn't have a key hmmm...

Misaki tried the handle a few times, it opened inward without resistance. Saru had left his flat unlocked...suspicious.

He tread carefully into the apartment, keeping his ears open for any creaks or breathing...nothing.

"Saru..?" nothing but the quiet drip of a faucet answered him from the silent rooms. Misaki searched around nevertheless. It was a suprisingly small place and almost completely absent of personal items, the drab off white walls stared back at him as he found his way to what looked like the bedroom. It was empty except for a neatly made bed in the corner, it had obviously not been slept in for a while. Misaki lifted up the pillow, no knives, so Saru was definitely not home because in all the years he'd known him he was never without those throwing knives, he even slept with them under his pillow every night. Misaki had asked him about it a school once, it had been unthought of that the usually law abiding Saru at the time would actually have weapons on him at school. Saru had looked at him oddly before turning away to fiddle with them for a moment,

"...Just in case.." Saru had said it so quietly but Misaki had heard it all, he didn't press the matter when he saw the fear in Saru's eyes, he was too young to have that look in his eyes.

He tossed the pillow back before he noticed what was on the bedside table. It stood out, the only piece of decoration in the whole room. A photo frame, plain but of good quality. Misaki picked it up gingerly, noting how well taken care of it was. He stopped when he saw what the picture was. It was a new frame but an old photo. Misaki stared at his own face smiling so happily back at him, Saru laughing with him in their middle school uniforms, arms around each other, just so very happy.

Misaki staggered backward and slid down onto the floor, clutching the frame in his shaking hands. Why did he still have this? Misaki himself hadn't kept any pictures from back then but Saru had framed and kept it right next to him, he would have looked at it every day. The only source of color in the bare room and it was of Misaki. He was supposed to hate him right, or else why did he leave him those years ago, he just didn't understand what was going on in that guy's head, maybe he never did.

Looking down at those innocent faces, so ignorant of the world outside their own little bubble brought back to many memories. The rememberance of all those little happinesses he had taken for granted for so long just crashed down on him, pushing out a choked sob bubbling from his throat. He reclined his head against the hard surface of the table, his hands gripping the edges of the frame hard enough to leave marks on his hands.

"Saru you idiot...where the hell are you?"

* * *

He was running again. It was raining here, good it would wash the sin away right. Saru fell against a wall, the rough bricks cutting into his skin, panting. He looked down at the bloodstained clothes and the bloodied knives in his shivering hands. The trail of bloody footprints left by his own feet were already being dissolved, the red spreading into the rushing water, sucked into the drain. Who knew there would be so much blood. Saru covered his face with one red hand.

"What have I done...Misaki..."

* * *

Author notes: so people seemed to like the last one so I decided to continue. I don't actually want people coming after me. I actually finished watching K Project and SHIPS EVERYWHERE. I blame my friend icecreambender for getting me hooked on this so look forward to more. If you've noticed I'm also doing a series of oneshots as well as some art for it which are postdd on my da.

Reviews make me really happy so drop in and say hi!


	3. Chapter 3

Tw: mentions of sexual abuse

* * *

And so he'd run away from him again.

He was always the one chasing his light, Misaki's light.

But he had no right to look upon it anymore, or he would become a parasite on his warmth, hurting him over and over until there would be none left to sustain the both of them.

He didn't stop until he felt he was a good distance from Misaki's place, luckily Misaki was in no condition to chase him, and that was Saru's fault too.

What would he do now, he could not avoid him forever, a clash would be inevitable in this place. And Misaki would be looking for answers, ones he did not want to give. He heaved a sigh, walking at a slower pace aimlessly in the dusky streets. Misaki's flat was in a quiet part of the city, most people were still at the centre, going about their peaceful everyday. How nice to be so ignorant.

Oh it had started spitting a bit, Saru brushed water droplets from his face in annoyance. It would start raining soon he thought, covering the top of his glasses from the increasing spatter of rain.

"Well I never thought I'd see your pretty face again...Fushimi chan~"

Saru froze instantly, that voice was so familiar, so much so it had haunted his nightmares for years.

He thought he had escaped from all that, but then again there is only so far you can run before your problems catch up to you soon enough.

He turned a little, the water obscuring the view from his glasses slightly. The gruff voice came from a battered looking man right behind him. He was only a bit taller than Saru, but he had always thought he was so much taller when he was younger. The scars stood out from the dark face shadowed by the hood of his coat, the leering glare from his eyes leaping out like a predator. That face sent an involuntary shot of unadulterated fear through him, his mind regressing to childhood. Saru's eyes grew a little wider from the chill of terror, that face, that face he saw in the darkness, it wouldn't go away. This was real, it wasn't a dream, it wasn't a mere nightmare. It was breathing alive and well in his ear.

He was wide awake.

"You've really grown up so handsome haven't you, I've really...missed you Fu~chan"

That face was too close to him, he could feel the stench of hot breath on his ear, the familiar vice like grip on his shoulder. He needed to move, he wasn't a weak little boy anymore, so why couldn't he just MOVE?

He stood stock still like a fool, , the grimy touch of those monstrous hands broke down the wall in his mind.

* * *

_10 years ago_

__Incense burning, such a strong memory. He watched the perfumed smoke curl into the cool air, only to wisp away into oblivion. He was kneeling in seiza style on the patterned cushion, expressionless. There was so much muffled chatter around him, all adults.

"Well I can't take him, we just don't have space!"

"Look I just don't feel comfortable around him, he isn't even the least bit sad over that incident."

"I can't take him either, my Mariko is to young to be associated with that child of theirs, she could be influenced."

"Shhh...don't talk badly of the dead.."

Those old bats, they knew he was listening why can't they just say it to his face...no one wanted him...and that was fine, he could handle it. He never saw those good for nothing excuses for parents anyway, they had always left him with a neighbour while they frivolously spent all their money. He was almost glad when they drove their car off that cliff, maybe he would get fostered out and not have to deal with those sneering relatives. He sighed, he just wanted to go home, but where was home? It certainly wasn't here anymore.

"I can take him!"

Saru was jolted out of his thoughts by the outburst from the back of the room, wait...what did he say?

A large man, well he was definitely tall from Saru's perspective moved towards him, parting the room of chattering noise in his approach. He looked clean shaven and slightly familiar, oh, Saru had seen him in the background at some of the family gatherings, they always left early since his parents always got dead drunk. He was some sort of second uncle or something, Saru wasn't too sure how the tree worked, they were still learning it at school.

The man leant down to him. "Hello Fushimi kun, you'll be staying with me from now on."

For some reason that smile disturbed Saru at an unconscious level, something wasn't right here. But he swallowed it down, at least he didn't have to stay with those stupid ladies over there.

Oh how wrong he was.

* * *

His 'uncle' opened the door to his new home. It wasn't really anything impressive, it was actually smaller than Saru's old house. Saru looked around curiously, it was quite cramped and a bit grimy but it wasn't too bad, yeah he could deal with this.

He stopped.

Why was there only one bedroom...and only one bed?

That was odd, did he have to sleep with this man every night? He understood the need for only one bedroom in this tiny space but didn't he at least have a spare futon?

His uncle had that creepy smile on his face again. It was really unnerving.  
"Nee..Fushimi kun shall we get clean, you must be tired."  
He pushed Saru towards the dim bathroom, there were residues of mould in the grout, it was just a small bath with a detatchable shower head.

His uncle started removing Saru's clothes.  
"Um stop I'm old enough to shower myself!" Saru tried to yank his hands away from his shirt frantically. This was really weird, why did this man want to keep touching him?  
He was too strong, keeping Saru in place with just one hand, shedding the clothes with the other.

"No...you can't...you could slip and hurt yourself Fushimi kun~"

Saru couldn't move, he had never felt so helpless against anything. His flailing limbs were pinned to his sides by that man's strength. Saru could only shiver from pure fear from the horrible foriegn feel of that man's touch on his bare skin. What did he want to do to him?

The calloused hands roved over his body in the silent bathroom, Saru' couldn't even scream, he tried but not a sound came out.

"Ahhh this is why I like young skin the most" the rough tongue migrated to the surface of Saru's neck. "So soft, so unblemished...so easily tainted."

He pushed Saru into the filling tub, the warm water pooling to his ankles, but Saru could feel nothing but the cold in the water, the warmth did not touch him. He tried to get out of the tub, get away, just anywhere away from this. But that man was always a step ahead, his arms already pressing him down in the rushing water, Saru winced in pain from the faucet digging into his back.

A large hand covered his mouth, pushing his head against the cold tiled wall. His vision was getting blurry from the heat and tears, but that man was taking out something from his pants.

Saru continued to struggle as the fleshy object moved closer to his face. He didn't understand what was happening...was he going to die here?

Saru let out a muffled scream of pain and confusion when he felt two digits impale his rectum. It was horrible, the sensation of the alien appendages moving around inside him, scraping at his muscle walls. He kept jerking around in the water in an attempt to push himself off the fingers but he was completely overpowered

"Oh you're a feisty one aren't you Fushimi kun. Another reason boys are more fun...they don't break as easily."

A languid leer spread over his face.

"And you know how broken toys just aren't as fun to play with."

He leant closer to Saru's ear as he forced another finger in. Saru kept trying to scream, no don't do this, but they were muffled into silence by the rough hand

"I hope you don't disappoint me Fushimi kun...helpful tip, if you stay quiet and still it won't hurt so much.."

Saru bucked and tried to scream louder. The man just smiled as Saru felt a sharp pain as another finger pushed through.

"I told you it would hurt more, you should take my advice from now on right..Fushimi kun."

Saru tried not to move, maybe if he did what he said it would be over sooner. Maybe he would let him go and he would wake up in his own bed.

Let this nightmare end.

He felt the fingers slipping out of him, to his relief. Oh thank you God it was over. Or so he thought.

As soon as the fingers left there came something worse. He hadn't expected honestly had no idea what was being done to him, only that it hurt and it shouldn't be happening.

That man was trying to push that disgusting fleshy object inside him. It didn't seem to fit but he didn't seem to relent trying. Saru tried to keep as still as possible to minimise the pain but the tears would come unbidden. Only when he finally pushed in and started moving with low grunting sounds did Saru realise what was going on. He didn't seem to care about treating a child gently, it was rough and incredibly painful for Saru. It seemed to go on forever, Saru could only try to focus his mind somewhere else, remember something happy, but there wasn't anything. He would have to ride this out and then he could run, run as far as possible and never look back.

It was finally over. The man had released some warm sticky stuff inside him, Saru watched blearily as the white substance swirled down the drain. He was being sprayed with water all over, he was so sore and tired from screaming. He couldn't get up without help, he was sure he was raw and bleeding inside.

He thought he would be able to run the moment that man let him go. But not a chance, the strong arms were around him and he was pressed against the repulsive presence in the bed. He really could not get out, he cried silent tears on the pillow, his breathing was shallow with those arms constricting his chest. He could try tomorrow, he had to let him go to school right, he could escape from there.

It was morning and Saru hadn't slept at all, how could he. He was sent to school, the man seemed practiced in keeping someone captive. He hadn't released Saru's arm the whole way until he was pushed through the school gates. Saru looked around and realised his school had such high walls he could only escape after school when the gates opened again, that was a miscalculation on his part. He would have to take his chances after school.

"Hey let's go to the arcade after school, want to come Fushimi kun?" a classmate nudged Saru. Saru wasn't really popular and had few friends, but he wasn't alienated by anyone. He leapt at the chance, he could surely merge with the crowd and escape. He tried to walk nonchantaly out the gates with the crowd of children, but to his sinking hopelessness he saw that man standing there waiting for him. He froze and quickly tried to hide in the crowd and erase his presence.

It was really impossible wasn't it. He was quickly yanked out of the group by that rough hand. A teacher ran over to ask what was going on. Oh good she could surely save him right?

"Ah I'm his new guardian, his parents entrusted him to me.." he took out some official looking papers, the teacher just looked embarassed and apologised. No...no no no he was really stuck with him, even if he ran they would send him back to him. There was no escape.

"Nice try Fushimi kun...I think you need to be disciplined for that though..." that smile was possibly one of the most disturbing expressions to cross that face, hiding and hinting all the horror to come. Saru should have died in that car, he wished he had, he would jump out in front of one right now if it meant it wouldn't happen again.

* * *

It went on, like a viscious circle. The numerous escape attempts, the nightly punishments. Saru had eventually stolen money from that wallet bit by bit to stash in his escape bag under the stairs of the apartment complex. The pain inside rubbed red and raw, never having a chance to heal. He felt so dirty and in pain both inside and out. He'd found a piece of broken glass once at school, slicing through his own flesh, he felt he could control something in his life for once in a long time. Watching the red blood pool out of him in beaded drops focused the pain there, allowing him to dull the pain in the rest of him. He hid the scars under some wristbands he had found in the locker rooms.

Two years...two damn years, of this torture, he had no friends now, he couldn't talk to them or spend time outside school. He was simply too tired to bother with the social niceties anymore, what was the point, he was already dead inside.

He would be 12 soon, but he would still be stuck like this if he didn't do anything. If only he was stronger, if only he had some sort of power, then he could escape and kill that guy in the process. He often entertained those thoughts, If only I had power... what a childish wish.

He was waiting at the gates for him, Saru didn't even resist anymore, he was just too tired of life. He pushed it all down and left his body, envisioning dark dreams of turning the tables and making that guy suffer. How nice his screams would be as he cut him out from the inside while he was still alive. Those visions were what kept him alive during those nights, when even the cutting wouldn't numb the raw pain inside him.

He remembrered that night when he was brought back to the flat to see two more large men waiting for him and his 'uncle' in the dim kitchen. The anger and raw fear festering inside him broke out at the clutches of these men, the men and his 'uncle' trying to restrain and bend him over. Seeing that smile on that repulsive face egging them on encouragingly was the last straw. How he had the power he didn't know. It all burst out in a whirlwind of fight and flight respone. He saw red, grabbing the nearest kitchen knife he slashed wildly at any limbs in his way. He even got at the face of his 'uncle', the men fell howling at the wounds, his uncle clutching blindly at his face in pain. Saru didn't have time to think, running as fast as he possibly could he shot out into the night, grabbing his escape bag under the stairs. Two years of waiting for this day, he wouldn't waste time getting as far away from this world.

He had collapsed panting against an alleyway a few kilometeres away. His shoes were almost worn through, his muscles were burning from the strain of that marathon. What would he do now? He looked up into the quiet night. He was too young to get a job, he had no place to stay without alerting the authourities. He couldn't risk being sent back. He would have to go to school still, maybe a middle school further into the city, where he couldn't find him. Saru knew how to forge papers pretty well now, it was simple. He would figure it all out soon, he just needed to rest. He pulled his threadbare jacket over his tired body and fell asleep soundly for the first time in two years, against the wall of a dirty alley.

Saru had been surprised he'd been able to evade that guy for so long. It had been six months, two of those he's spent sleeping in the alley with the other homeless people. The money eventually ran out, but Saru found a way. There were many others as filthy as that guy, they were just willing to pick from the streets, he could kill two birds with a stone. It was risky but those years had twisted him, all he had to do was act sweet and timid and they would bring him back to an apartment, they were so gullible weren't they. Just a moment of weakness from them and he could knock them out with his newly acquired throwing knives or a cloth of chloroform he kept in his pockets. Easy money to run off with, and he didn't even need to degrade himself.

That was how he found the apartment in the first place. The first home of his own. He had run out of one of his victim's flats to find an abandoned apartment on the third floor, the door unlocked and empty. He didn't own much stuff anyway so it was a simple thing to move in.

But still he wanted to get out of this life, he wanted to be stronger and he wanted to forget.

* * *

"I'm sorry! Are you okay?!"

Saru looked up, he rubbed his sore head where the skateboard had hit. He should have stayed in the cafeteria, much quieter than out here. "Hey are you ok? I'm not used to riding this yet and it just flew out from under me." Saru adjusted his eyes to the glaring light streaming behind the shadow. His eyes grew wider, there was a boy his age with concerned eyes with one hand outstretched. He seemed so warm and bright that Saru had a sharp intake of breath. He reached out to grasp the offered hand, it felt like he was being pulled out of the abyss. He wanted to stay as close to this warmth forever.

"Ah I wrecked your lunch too! Hey look I'll treat you to something and we'll call it even."

Saru just looked at him a little stunned, this was probably the first time anyone had spoken to him at school, he had kept to himself mostly but this guy kept taking all the firsts.

"Oh I almost forgot, I'm Yata Misaki, you can call me Yata!"

Saru couldn't help but grin a little, "Mi-sa-ki?"

"Uh...Yata is fine.."

"Mi-sa-ki, that's a nice name"

"Ah it sounds like a girls name though, oi what's yours then"

"...Fushimi Saruhiko.."

"Oh well then if you call me Misaki I can call you Saru, now let me buy you that drink!"

Before Saru could react he was pulled headlong by Misaki into the school building.

Misaki didn't know it but that was when Saruhiko was saved.

* * *

"Nee Fushimi kuuun~, you really did a number on me, I think you need to be taught a lesson."

That voice brought him back to reality. He had the power now, he could kill this man if he wanted to, then why couldn't he MOVE?

"To think I was able to raise you to become so handsome, we even have similar tastes...don't we"

Saru tried to break out of his freeze, no we are not the same.

"That kid...Misaki I think he's called, very cute, really my type too I should really meet him some day...since he's so special to you."

At hearing Misaki's name being uttered by those putrid lips he flashed his knives and lashed out at him. He couldn't stop himself, ot all flew out in a mad fury of stabs and slashes. "DON'T...EVER...SAY...THAT...NAME..." Saru ignored the screams, just blankly watching the blood spurt out from each satisfying slash. "I AM NOT LIKE YOU, I NEVER WILL BE" Saru was wildly stabbing the body, long after it had become just an empty corpse.

The spell broke. Saru bloodstained and panting over the mangled remains. He dropped his knives and fell to his knees, hugging his shoulders shaking with the adrenaline. "Hah...I...did...it"

He was almost crying now, he was dead and gone now, Saru had finally overpowered him...but he was right wasn't he. Saru had fallen, Saru had done the same thing and broke Misaki. He had taken and broken the one thing that brought light into his darkness.

"Someone...save me...Misaki"

But no one was ever coming, there was only ever one person and he wasn't ever going to save him again. He was truly all alone now.

* * *

_Author notes: Yeah I know I promised this last week but...exams... I promise there will eventually be a happy ending so don't kill me for putting him through all this!_

_Thanks so much to anyone that reviewed! I get the goofiest smile everytime I read them, you don't understand how happy they make me, so please leave some more if you want to!_


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